What Was I Thinking?

  • Becuase man does not live on Baconator Fries alone
  • Looking for something hot and juicy...to go
  • 5-6-7-8!
    I haven't kept track of my "points" lately on this board. But 5678 points seemed to be an unusual milestone to have gotten to. Thanks for reading my stuff when I post it, and thanks to the anime Wendy's girl for putting me over the top!
  • Writer's Block. Will anything work?
    All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...
    • Keiryu Stab a guy or two. That is sure to give ya some ideas. At least 10 of which involve ya disposing of the body.
  • Was the Master of Insanity Ever a Baby?
    It was a warm February evening in Copacabana Beach, as the three Iberian ladies made their way down the sidewalk. They were there not just on holiday, but on the last gasp bachelorette party.
    Camilla Leon, recent graduate of the University of Oxford, was mere days from marrying. She and her friends had chosen Rio during Carnival for their party; and she had no problem spending her father's money on airfare, rooms, and shopping.

    The beat of the samba still raged in their ears from a recent parade. As Donna pointed out the beauty of the barely clad women on the floats, her friends Luisa and Camilla laughed.


    Luisa rolled her eyes.

    "Look around you. Every one of those girls will be on a pole somewhere tonight, shaking that same butt for money."
    She slapped her own butt and shook it at Donna.
    "That's disgusting!" Donna replied.
    "Disgusting!" Camilla smiled the smile her friends feared most.
    "That's it," she continued. "We need to be as disgusting as we can."
    "And what's the prize?"
    Paulo was the hot concierge that the girls were planning to triple team before the trip was over. He had recommended a few upscale clubs for them to attend, then joked to them about a place they would never go.
    "Burro Grande."
    "What's that?" They asked.
    "When the place opened up, they did donkey shows. Cops busted them so many times, they gave up. But the name stuck. And so do the floors."
    By sheer coincidence, the girls now stood at its entrance.

    They watched three stages of pole dancers do their act to a crowd of men frenzied on cheap liquor and loud music. Donna waited until one took a break. She stepped onstage. As the others looked on, she immediately stripped, and didn't so much pole dancing as much as pole straddling and thrusting. As the song ended, a flurry of cash went her way.

    "Beat that."

    Luisa had caught the eye of a few not so bad looking tourist guys. She probably could blow one or two and win handily. But that wasn't exactly disgusting. But that's when she saw the bartender.
    He was not just old. His hair was gone from his head, save for tufts near his ears. His skin sagged under his eyes. His tattoos were faded into a goopy black stain on both arms, which she could see all of since he was wearing a "wifebeater" tank.

    She motioned for him to come around, and for the tourist guys to have him sit on the bar. Then in front of the assembled crowd, she unzipped him. Drawing a breath, she exhaled air and opened wide.

    The old man's eyes lit up, remembering days gone by, and ladies that once made him feel the way he did now. The young woman expertly took him in and out. As his demeanor changed from happy to orgasmic, she stopped to let him come. He collapsed backwards as her tourist friends held him from crashing.

    Luisa smiled as she showed her "pearl necklace."
    "I believe I am winning the disgusting race."

    Camilla spied a raincoat on a hook by the door. She stripped, and handed her clothes and purse to her friend. She donned the raincoat and a pair of heels, and went behind the bar to the back alley.

    In her finest Portuguese, she asked the darkness. "Well? Is there a man in this alley, or just vermin?"
    Soon, a thief, brandishing a knife, came towards her. He smiled, but he seemed...cautious.
    Camilla laughed. "Do you know how to mug somebody, or do you need lessons?"
    He lunged. She laughed as she grabbed his knife hand. The thief quickly realized he had slashed his own arm.
    He lunged again. Blood splashed on her raincoat and her body from his wound. She again directed the blade towards his body, where it found its mark on his shoulder. He cried out as the blood spurted towards her. She opened the coat and let it hit her.
    She saw her would-be attacker for only a moment longer, as a dark clad figure grabbed him from behind.
    The new figure was much taller. Much darker, and much, much more muscular.
    He stepped forward. The glint in his eye matched the blade in his hand.
    "1916 Imperial Prussian Mauser bayonet. Truly a work of art. Would be a shame to pierce that body of yours with it."
    Camilla did not back down.
    "Then I suggest you return it to its sheath."
    He hovered the bayonet over his belt. A small scabbard, as old as the bayonet, hung low. 
    "Nice sheath," she said.
    He took a long look at the woman in front of him. The hair from her head dangled down to the tuft above her sex. She stood confidently in his gaze. She took a wider stance as he glanced down.
    "Your sheath ain't bad, either."
    "I have no sheath here but my vagina."
    He cracked a smile.
    "That's what the Romans called it."
    "I know Latin," she said. "I'm a doctor."
    He took another step forward. His arms went between her thighs. He lifted her to his eye level, as her inner thighs balanced on his biceps.
    "And I am a god."
    In a moment, she was being carried towards the wall. Her raincoat fluttered as her back felt the bricks behind her. He licked the blood off her tits as he plunged deep inside her. Above her, a gutter drained a dirt and grime slurry off the bar roof onto her body as her nameless lover contorted her in every direction possible. Since she had no name to scream, she just cried out "Meu Deus!" until they came.

    She staggered back into the bar, naked, save the heels and the savage cocktail of grime, sweat, blood, and sex.

    Luisa ran over to her.
    "Are you OK?"
    She smiled at her friend.
    "Of course I am. I have seen God."
    But first, Paolo.

    Winthorp Archibald Keir III was not the type to spend time in a delivery room. He was perfectly content to hear whether his offspring was a boy or a girl. Like his forefathers, he had the male child's name picked long ago. A female child could be picked from many of the fine grandmothers and great grand mamas of years past.

    When Camilla delivered, the doctor looked around.
    "Is the father here to cut the cord?"
    "He's not up to it," the new mother replied.
    The child took a moment to adjust to the light. He saw the scalpel in the doctor's hand. Without warning, the newborn grabbed for the handle.
    The doctor let go in astonishment.
    The child frowned at the attached cord. In a sweeping motion, the baby's arm reached down and severed the cord in one stroke.
    His mother laughed, as she realized her newborn's heritage. She cuddled him close to her breast and whispered.
    "Hear me, little one. You may need a name in the outside world. But to me, you will be a nameless god. Just like your father."
    The nurse asked in a hush, "So, no name?"
    Camilla looked to the nurse.
    "Put my husband's name as his last name. Someday, my boy will choose his own."

    • Red Haired Devil I'd think his life from birth have been one riddled with outer strife, and inner turmoil that lead to a series disarranging life events,such as spending his first few decades as a dis-tempered and troubled youth. Most of his early unrest stemming from his hatred towards his absent father's abandonment of his mother, as well as his own his own self loathing, for forcing the burden of having to care for misery her, constantly cursing his role in subjecting her to the suffering of loving a demon spawn child of rage and pain.
      His nature would continue to grow increasingly violent, due to the unnatural development of his deity kind's attributes,misshapen from his being born of a mere mortal, and corrupted by the carnal instincts of human nature.
      Later he would think to spite his father and obtain some semblance of redemption, by deciding to lean towards a life of aiding others, and starting his studies into earning a place in the medical field as a neurosurgeon. Upon finishing his education and starting his career he would easily find success through the use of his highly proficient abilities, that would have great affect upon his work.
      Here is where a terrible development would occur in his life that ruptures the illusion of the life he had striven to build, and use as an Insult against his hated father, and serve as a mockery to the notion that he had played any role in the direction his life had taken, and then succumbs to the undeniable control his origins would have upon his inevitable fate in becoming the depraved harbinger of torment that is the Master of Insanity.
      From then on He would accept what he was and embrace his longing to revel in the fires of chaos and madness.
      If this were the base line of Insanity's forsaken background of pain and misfortune, it would certainly leave a great deal of room for unanswered questions to be raised and hidden details to exist. It would also open up a world of directions in which fans could use to create thier own versions of what made Insanity who he is.
      ( left the terrible development out to ensure the mysterious nature of Insanity's past remain unknown)
    • Keiryu Aww that's beautiful man q.q

      Well I did say I came out the womb knife in hand. Also no wonder I have this urge to murder god. It's all papa Keir's fault.

      Funny fact. This makes my mini-me the only one who had their literal birth/childhood explored. GO ME!!!

      On another note. Damn I am an adorable baby.
    • SimMan Would love to see your version of Keir and Cesar origins.
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  • Couldn't be....could it?
    Pic on Left: Girl just got shot by her own mother in Texas. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3659694/Mother-42-killed-police-fatally-shot-two-daughters-a...

    Pic on Right: Page's "Have a great weekend" post from a few days back (via Chive). http://www.freedomwall.info/post/5446409/have-a-great-weekend
    I did a doubletake when I saw the article today. If that is the same girl, it would be a real shame.
    • holybug678 Oh my Christ, this is such an insane coincidence.
    • Fear57 Try sending a message to Page and see if she responds. Give it four or five months. After looking at some more of Page's pictures I think it is her. . .
    • Robin So if it isn't her, it isn't a real shame?

      At first glance I'd say no, but if I look closer and imagine some make-up (and she must've colored her hair too or something because the left one has way darker roots), it's actually possible.

      Does anybody know her name (the right one)?
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  • A round of applause for SimMan
    Blackspears.com has the Lovemore release date listed as tomorrow. And this game is light years beyond the "let's buy Tomoko stuff" game we all remember.
    I just wanted to say thank you to him for all the work he and his team have done to put this together. So, everyone, raise a glass, and remember why we're all here!
  • Talk about slashfic!
    Last night, courtesy of Penny Dreadful, I saw Dorian Gray and the bride of Frankenstein in a bloody threesome with De Sade's Justine, in celebration of the latter's slaying of her former pimp. Literally blew the dust off the old classics
  • Warning: NO John Cusack movies before bedtime

    I had this dream that John Cusack met me at a party in London, and introduced me to two extremely attractive British girls, as well as some artsy friends of his. One of them had drawn a series of nudes on the walls of his flat. To be honest, they were drawn as if they were done by kids with street chalk. And some reason, John had an English accent.

    Things were going well until he suggested we drive somewhere. He then insisted we all sit in the front seat while he drove. He then started spouting philosophy that sounded like song lyrics.

    The one girl was getting very friendly with me, so I asked if we could go to the back seat to get more comfortable. She responded by unzipping my jeans. He responded by pulling a gun on me while still driving..

    Then the "Black Parade" came on the radio, everything went into slow motion and I woke up.

    I rate it above my "wake up in High School in my underwear" dreams.

  • Guy on right suppressed a movie to help his Oscar chances. Guy on left did porn.

    Conclusion- nobody knows how the game is played.

  • Trying to keep warm? Curl up with a good story.

    I wanted to thank those of you who discovered (or rediscovered) our site, and have been reading and commenting on my fanfic contributions.

    I consolidated the stories into text narratives at http://blackspears.com/3/post/2015/01/fan-fictions.html#comments. I had planned to hold off on new stories until the new game came out, but if you have a desire to see the Simgirls or SimGirls College characters in action again, let me know!
    • Keiryu You know me always a fan of a good read. So i say as long as you keep making them i keep reading them. Still waiting on the continuation/Side story of the Zombie fanfic by the way. I WANT MY PINK COLORED BASTARD SWORD!!!
  • Dear SimMan: Where did the likes go (fixed)?
  • Grumpy cat? How about soul-sucking psychotic cat??